berserkdroid
Founding Member
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2007
- Messages
- 1,201
- Points
- 36
I am writing this in response to the numerous flame wars that have been going on in the forum, and I hope that you will read the comments below with an fair, balanced and open mind.It is quite distressing to see the forum relating to the brand of car that I have passion for, degenerating into some kind of frathouse free-for-all. As such I would like to appeal to everyone to please, please, PLEASE stop fighting for a moment and think: How is this hurting me and the people around me?Its bad enough that we have to contend with Trolls, Spammers, Mindless Nitpicking, Fragile Egos, Schcoolyard Bickering and whatnot on the forum, and now we have full-on flame wars going on as well.There's no point in trying to win a battle or be right about something that never ends. This kind of behavior is doomed to failure. It can easily become a habit, something we fall into automatically and instinctively. Needless to say, flaming prevents real communication from developing. It is a way of threatening or blaming the other. Rather than really addressing issues, it causes a situation to remain stuck. I can understand if such behavior happens on community forums, but not from club forums. And we ARE a club forum, right?Having said that, how do we now start the healing? Maybe we can start like this, according to "The Anger Diet":1. Realise that anger is toxic: It is not a source of strength or power, but can become an addiction, a substitute for true power and wisdom, something that hinders our well being and stops our life from going forward. 2. Stop the blaming: It is absolutely pointless to blame yourself or others. Blame stops you from seeing the truth. While we are busy pointing fingers, we cannot see what is really going on. All blame does is to keep the fight alive. Instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt or wronged you, keep your eyes open to watch how you may have contributed to the situation.3. Realize The Price You Are Paying: Unless we truly realise the damage fighting is taking on us, we will continue doing it automatically. Honestly take note of the consequences each fight brings, what it is doing to your body, mind and spirit. Then ask do I truly want this? Haven’t I suffered enough? Why not stop it today? 4. Choose To Be Happy: We have to be aware that there is a better way to be than to keep fighting. This is the time to expand your view. Define success as being happy rather than being right.5. Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth: The basis of all good relationships is a feeling of worthiness, a desire to honor, gift and pleasure yourself, and to do the same for the other. Choose this kind of relationship and let go of all that opposes it. Guys and gals, whether to fight or not is a matter of CHOICE, and that choice lies with us AND ONLY US. As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only does our health improve, but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus upon. When we focus upon well-being, forgiveness and love, that is what will fill our lives.I don't think that I am alone in asking that everyone try the above. After all, there's nothing to lose. My apologies if this went on rather long, it's just a humble appeal to the good nature of forumers here.Cheers! 
